You’re here, but you might wonder who else is here.  Well, I love statistics, so I pay close attention to my Google Analytics.  I like to see what countries people are coming from and why they’re coming.  The why is garnered by what they searched for to find this blog.  Therefore, I wanted to share some of those with you and provide the people who will search for these terms in the future some information:

Search Term: fatherhoody / fatherhoody.com / fatherhoodie / fatherhoody blog
Times Searched: 121
Explanation: You’re at Fatherhoody.

Search Term: becoming an unexpected father
Times Searched: 4 
Explanation:  I love Junior to death, but he wasn’t part of the five year plan.  Now that he’s here, I can’t imagine a better five year plan than to have him in it.  If you’re not expecting a child and you’re freaked out, stick with it.  When you have the kid, things will fall into place.

Search Term: spouse in law school / law school spouse
Times Searched: 6
Explanation: Stunning was in law school right after we got married. We got through it and the Bar Exam.  Then we had a normal marriage.  Stick with it law school spouses… it’s only temporary, but man does it stink.

Search Term: pitchers of people with anorexia
Times Searched: 1
Explanation: I think you meant pictures.

Search Term: baby pig slut
Times Searched: 1
Explanation: This is either a reference to the Seinfeld episode “The Cartoon” or some weird internet thing that I don’t want to know about.

Search Term: choking your wife in your sleep
Times Searched: 1
Explanation:  I have never choked my wife.  I made my wife choke once by make a joke while she was eating and she almost died (that’s an exaggeration).  I would have to say if you’re choking your wife in your sleep, you might want to either a) see a counselor about how you feel about your wife or b) see a sleep expert.

Search Term: dad is an immature child
Times Searched: 1
Explanation: If this is a wife looking for this, if you’re husband (who is a dad) acts like a true child, then I think this is okay as long as they can be serious too.  If your husband acts like a teenager, then you should seek counseling.  If this is a son or daughter researching their own dad, you are blessed that your dad doesn’t take life too seriously.  I will admit that I’m both of these.  I think it will work out really well to entertain Junior as a child and really well to embarrass the hell out of him as a teenager!

Search Term: divorce rates vs. twilight
Times Searched: 1
Explanation: I wouldn’t be surprised if it increased the rate. Not sure if this is the blog for that discussion though.  t Thanks.

Search Term: father hoodie blog jack stunning
Times Searched: 1
Explanation:  This person was clearly desperate to find this blog.

Search Term: hands smell like maple syrup
Times Searched: 1
Explanation: If you’re on fenugreek to increase breastmilk production, then this might be normal.  If you ate pancakes or waffles in the morning, this is also normal.  If neither of these apply to you, seek medical attention. Something ain’t right with your hands.

Search Term: how to kill your pregnant wife
Times Searched: 1
Explanation: I would advise against it.  I would also advise not to Google your plans… it will probably be evidence.  I also doubt there is a special technique to this… It’s not like women become werewolves or vampires when pregnant.  (Husband: The knife I just stabbed into your back bent instead of piercing your skin! Wife: Of course!  I’m pregnant.)

Search Term: i slapped my pregnant wife
Times Searched :1
Explanation: That’s disturbing.  You shouldn’t do that.

Search Term: killing is not fun
Times Searched: 1
Explanation: Seriously.. Google.. I’m a Christian man that has no plans for violence.  Why do you keep bringing these people to my blog!?!

Search Term: pooping
Times Searched: 1
Explanation: No clue.

Search Term: wet in shower
Times Searched: 1
Explanation: That tends to happen.