The Shame of Formula

I touched on this subject briefly yesterday, but there’s major shame involved with not breastfeeding and using formula.  Pamphlets and information across the hospital make it clear what the preference is for motherhood.  As I stated yesterday, I’m not arguing that breastfeeding is awesome and an amazing thing for a baby.  There are a ton of benefits and there’s a ton of shame in using formula. 

In the past 5.5 weeks, we’ve gone through an amazing journey… we’ve had nausea with breastfeeding, supplementing for jaundice, agony and intolerable pain with latching, a low milk supply, acid relfux, and milk-soy protein allergies.  I’m probably forgetting something, but that’s a pretty good list.  For us personally, it’s been absolutely impossible to breastfeed only because we couldn’t get a supply.  Junior would scream and scream when he was at the boob for an hour… he was still hungry.  Some literature says to let him stay hungry and go back to the boob for food.  We tried that and he was literally feeding for 12 hours straight.  I didn’t think it was fair to do this to him, so we supplemented with a bit of formula. 

Right now, we’re exclusively using formula.  Stunning has had to completely change her diet and we’ve had to wait for any of the allergen proteins to leave her body.  I must say though, when looking at the internet, you’re made to feel terrible about not breastfeeding.  A few comments I found:

A REALLY BAD IDEA - there is nothing in the formula your baby needs. Why do you want to do this?

Nutritionally, you're depriving your baby of what he/she could have in breastmilk - even one feeding.

Formula doesn't, it's artificial, made in a factory.

but read the stats, and look at the death/illness rate of formula fed infants compared to their breastfed counterparts… so despite your personal experience, you cannot deny the FACTS

It’s sad really.  We tried and we’re still trying.  I just wish there wasn’t so much pressure to breastfeed that it made mothers who don’t feel so guilty.

6 comments:

Does the baby's pediatrician admonish you for giving the baby formula? Heck no! Yes, breast milk is better but don't let faceless posts and articles make you feel shame.

screw em.

Speaking from experience. I have a 14 year old, 4 year old, 2 year old and 17 month old. All on formula.

All healthy.

Again, it's your baby. Do what you feel is right.

I hope everyone gets better soon.

April 14, 2010 at 4:59 AM  
Rob said...

I'd put about as much stock in internet comments as Newman puts broccoli (vile weed) in his mouth. They'll give your baby formula in the effing hospital unless you tell them not to.

I also love internet comment references to the "facts". To continue the Seinfeld theme, remember when George said he couldn't hold it in the shower because he read it was bad for the kidneys in "medical journals"? Formula nazis don't get their info after clanking test tubes and wearing lab coats, they get it from snippets on the Today show.

The type of parents who offer the most valuable advice won't be shoving it down your throats from their boobs of superiority.

April 14, 2010 at 6:50 AM  
Anonymous said...

HA at Rob's comment about the "boobs of superiority". Awesome. And so true.

I was a preemie, I weighed less than 2lbs, they thought I would die, yada yada. My mom did get to feed me some, but mostly I had to eat some super weight gaining formula stuff in order to start resembling a real baby and not just a miniature sack of bones. Formula essentially saved my life.

April 14, 2010 at 7:09 AM  
Chelsea said...

I am a believer that if you CAN breastfeed, you should. But there are many women who can't - for various reasons. It's not the end or the world. The baby won't be at a disadvantage. It makes me angry that people are so opinionated and stare down their noses at people. You know what you should do? Punch them all in the face.

April 14, 2010 at 7:44 AM  

Ugh! I agree! Some Moms can breastfeed, some can't, but the world wide interweb makes the Moms who can't, who choose not to, etc etc feel like their babies are going to die/grow up totally warped and that's just not right.

You guys did way, way, way more, tried, are trying, and will try way, way harder than about 99.9% of parents ever would to make the boob thing work and you should feel so so good and proud for that. Clearly it worked, for God's sake, he's already rolling over and running marathons!

Lots of lactation experts will tell you that any breastmilk is better than none AND that the very best and most important/critical period for boob milk is the first couple of weeks-which Jack got. So give yourself all the credit in the world for doing a great great job. And don't trust anything you read on the internet unless it comes from me.

And I bet lots of your friends/family will tell you the same thing as me: I was fed that vile poison, formula and look how awesome I am!

April 14, 2010 at 8:15 AM  

The pressure to breast feed is stupid. People try to make women feel like the scum of the earth for using formula. Random strangers would ask my wife if she was breatfeeding when we were at Walmart. What is this obsession with breastfeeding. Yes it is more natural, but it is 2010 for God's sake. I think we can make a nutritional formula for babies. Sorry I got a little crazy there. Feel no shame.

April 21, 2010 at 7:39 AM