As mentioned previously, Stunning and I are pretty obsessed with Seinfeld.  As veterans of the show and the ability to spot plotlines in everyday life, we’re certain we are in the top percentage of the population for our Seinfeld knowledge.  I’m not saying there aren’t people out there that know more and can quote more, because there certainly are… but I’m talking about our ability to hold our own with those fanatics.

We had every season, except season 9, which is the final season.  We had watched 1 through 8 nonstop since we got married, but never had access to the final season.  After Christmas, we were able to use a giftcard to purchase the final season.  While it will never go down in history as the best Seinfeld season, it does hold its own with some episodes reaching cult status and still used in conversation today.

• Serenity Now!
• Hellllooooooo!
• Bad Naked vs. Good Naked
• Festivus

Of course, there is no better exchange in Season 9 than the following:

Elaine: It's funny.

Jerry: It's a pig at a complaint department.

Elaine: And he's saying " I wish I was taller" ha ha. See? that's his complaint.

Jerry: I get it.

Elaine: Do you!!!.. because that's not a normal complaint.

Jerry: How 'bout if it was something like " I can't find my receipt my place's a sty.”

Elaine: Everything with you has to be so .. jokey.

Jerry: I'm a comedian.

Elaine: I wish I was taller, that's, that's, that's nice. that's real.

Jerry: Well I got a complaint. This cartoon stinks.

Elaine: I'll tell you who doesn't think it stinks, The New Yorker. that's right. They're publishing it in their next issue.

Kramer taps on a sheet of paper that he gives to Elaine to read.

Elaine: The pig says "my wife is a slut."

Jerry: Now that's a complaint.

For my love of all things Seinfeld, I think I’m going to begin a Seinfeld quote of the week.  It is your job each week to somehow play off the quote, with more things Seinfeld. Of course, this week’s quote is:

The pig says "my wife is a slut."

It’s not by Calvin Klein.  I think my wife invented it and it mostly has to do with her sleeping patterns.  You see, my wife needs noise when she falls asleep.  Usually it’s the television and it has to be on for her to shut her mind down. 

Here’s the rub though, it can’t be just any television.  It can only be certain shows that will allow her to enter sleep.  Here’s the other rub, we don’t have cable in our bedroom.  We have At&t Uverse in locale, but we couldn’t get it in the bedroom for a long list of reasons.  Therefore, we have to watch DVDs.  We have four shows on DVD. 

Saved By the Bell
I apologize to all women for turning them on with such a provocative picture of Slater and Zack.  Sometimes I stand in a similar fashion for Stunning.  It doesn’t have much of an effect though as she usually walks by me and tells me to stop being stupid. 

We actually only have the first and second season of Saved By the Bell and it’s never used for sleep time.  It’s a Sunday morning DVD used for when she gets ready for church.  However, I had to put it on here because Stunning is a national champion in Saved By the Bell Trivia.  That’s not a joke.

That’s a better representation of me standing shirtless.

Roseanne
Nothing screams awesome more than a white trash comedy where the main characters are overweight parents and somehow skinny grandma, sister, and children.  Apparently everyone on the show except Roseanne and Dan were on an effective diet.

Roseanne was all the rage in the early to mid 1990s (remember the “kiss”?!?).  It’s also been the rage for Stunning for years.  At some point, it came to define my wife, but slowly after a few years she’s come to realize what most of America did in 1996… it is not that funny.  Recently, I had the DVDs in for her to fall asleep and she requested I move on to another sitcom.

King of Queens
Any comedy where the main character is overweight and surrounded by skinny people is funny to me!  This quickly became all the rage for Stunning as she fell asleep.  The Fox station in Omaha played it for an hour each night, so she became fairly used to it and almost expected it to fall asleep.  She has seen every show.  While Arthur gets older in every season, they never really commit him to an insane asylum.  I guess that would be the inhumane thing to do and if done, the show would have become much less funny.

However, as much as she loved this show… there is nothing in the world of sitcom history that compares to…

Seinfeld
It will forever be in my heart as the greatest television sitcom of all time.  It’s also the number one fall asleep to sitcom ever.  Since Stunning has gotten to the uncomfortable stage of pregnancy it’s the number one medicine to help her fall asleep.

The two of us also have the uncanny ability to parlay any real life experience into Seinfeld.  Such as recently, when a couple sisters at our house were arguing with each other that Grandma only gave stuff to one of them.  My wife and I looked at each other, shook our heads and at the same time said, “Grandma Memma”.

I watched Conan’s last night on Friday.  Great stuff.  Nothing like ending 7 months in your dream job to make you slightly bitter. 

I don’t watch Jay or Conan or Jimmy or Dave consistently.  I’ll watch them all at some point or another, but never tune in.  I have watch the Jay Leno show and it is beyond terrible.  Conan, I always find funny.  I’ve never watched Jimmy Fallon, though he was funny on SNL… and I don’t like Dave, mainly because of his band leader and he enjoys having gratuitous sex with many different women that are not his wife.

However, I find this whole drama with the late night show to be fascinating.  First of all, the amount of hits Jay and Conan are putting on NBC are hilarious.  Second of all, it just proves my theory that NBC is amazingly stupid.

However, this is the most awkward 6 minutes you’ll watch on TV.  It’s well worth it… just get through the first 2 minutes for the real awkwardness to begin.

This is a great recap of exactly how things have gone down:

http://www.hulu.com/watch/121078/saturday-night-live-sigourney-weaver?c=1832:1970