The Final Fatherhoody…

Well, you may or may not have noticed the lack of posts around here.  It’s the death-knell for a blogger to take a week off, because then you realize just how much extra time you have… or how much time you don’t have but still blogged….

Anyway, this is a farewell of sorts.  Not completely, not entirely, but this is a farewell to this blog.  It was therapeutic to write in it for the months I did, especially in the first really difficult weeks of Junior’s life.  As my days filled up and the wife went back to work, the amount of free time dwindled though.  Therefore, this is the final post of Fatherhoody… and the blog will join the millions of blogs that just stop one day.

The good news is that I’ll be working with my wife to continue to provide updates into our crazy lives on the blog she’s maintained for such a long time.  For those readers still around, please check out:

I’ll be posting there now, just the duty will be split between the wife and I.  The posts might not come every day, but we’ll try and keep the consistency.

Thanks to everyone that read!  Please head over to Considering and stay tuned!  

Going Back to Work: The Mother Edition

Is there anything harder in the world than a mom going back to work after having her first kid?  After seeing it happen this past week, I would have to say no.  As most of you know, Stunning was offered a job about a week and a half ago and all of a sudden we realized she’d be back to work before any of us expected it.  That day came on Monday and she got all dressed up and after the two month appointment, went into the office.

The night before was the toughest part though.  It’s definitely a struggle to weight the need for money to give your kid a good life and the need to be with him to do the same. 

Does part of me worry about both parents working?  Absolutely.  You see kids where the parents give them little attention as they work all the time and most of the time, those kids are messed up.  I think when both parents work, there has to be a lot of work by the parents to make the time with the kids worthwhile and meaningful.  It’s probably easier now though, because Junior can’t function as a person without us.  However, when he gets older it’ll be easier to let him play by himself as we take a breather.  It’s important not to do that though, I think… as hard as it might be. 

In the end, Stunning did great and I’m amazingly proud of her being the bread-winner.  Now, we just have to balance that whole “latch key kid” versus “impactful parents”.

The Dreaded Two Month Shots

Well, on Monday we took Junior up to get his vaccinations.  I’m happy to report that he’s a wonderful 11 pounds 4 ounces and 22 inches long/tall.  That’s the 50% for both!!  That means folks that my kid is just average.

Of course, the scary part are the shots.  The needles came out and holy crap were they long.  I didn’t think he had that much room for them to go in and not come out the other side.  Well, they went in and boy was he PISSED. 

For many parents, this is the first time they see their kids in pain.  I wish I could say the same thing, but I can’t.  In fact, there are so many scary stories about these shots that I was expecting something other worldly.  He started screaming and I realized this was the exact same face and the exact same scream he will give if his acid reflux is bad.  I had seen it numerous times before and for a couple weeks, I saw it every single day.  That’s when it hit me… the pain, which I knew was bad, was excruciating for him.  Poor little man. 

Here’s the best part of the shots – we thought he’d be fussy and mad for hours.  I mean, he usually is a fussy baby, so having these shots would make it worse.  Au contraire!  Instead, he had a normal day.  How crazy is that?  I count my blessings though.

He cried for about 5 minutes.  Then he settled down and looked like this:

Then he was pretty good for the rest of the day!

First Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day is full of pomp and circumstance.  Even moreso when it is the first Mother’s Day for a Mom.  Don’t worry, Stunning made sure I knew it was an important and big holiday. 

We didn’t do much special.  Of course, we usually go to church, but our pediatrician suggested not going to church until the two month shots (more on those tomorrow).  We didn’t go to church.  Instead, we marked the day by letting mom hang out and dictate what she wanted and how.  Basically, if she wanted Junior, she got him.  If he was being fussy, I got him.  You know… that kind of situation.

We went to lunner (lunch/dinner).  I got her a piece of jewelry to commemorate this momentous event. Then I left her at home with the kid and went to the San Antonio Spurs game.  The Spurs game was unexpected, but it was either I go or my mother-in-law go.  My mother-in-law didn’t want to go, so it was kind of a Mother’s Day present to her that I went.  It was a sacrifice for the happiness of the mother-in-law.  Stunning even signed off on it… I swear.

The end.

A Thank You Note From My Wife…

We got this really cool suit and tie for Jack from our friends in Wisconsin.  Pretty much the classiest outfit the kid owns and I can’t wait for him to wear it around looking all cool and stuff. 

Anyway, the following is the thank you note sent to the gift givers:

Dear Gift Givers,

You guys are awesome.  That suit is Junior’s best outfit BY FAR.  Leave it to the gay men to be sure that Jack is the best dressed baby on the block.  When I become a rich lawyer, I am flying you guys down here.  Or maybe I’ll just whore myself out for extra dough – we miss you guys so much and MUST see you… even if it means a VD here and there.  Nothing wrong with hooking.  OKay – this thank you note too a bad turn real fast.  Thank you for the suit.  There. That’s what I meant to say.  Love, Us.

Wow.  I always knew my wife had a knack for writing thank you cards… I guess I just never realized her full talent.

Soothing Sufjan

A couple weeks ago, I posted a little video by an artist, singer, composer that goes by the name Sufjan Stevens.  He goes by the name… because it is his real name. 

Anyway, Stunning and I have tried everything to soothe Junior when he’s going crazy.  This is either in pain crazy or fussy crazy.  The only thing that can soothe him though is me playing music of Sufjan Stevens really loud.  It has a lot of instrumental parts, his voice is very calm, and there’s a female in a lot of his songs who also has a calm voice.

It works like magic.  I’m serious people.  It’s like there are two babies… the baby that doesn’t listen to Sufjan who is crying and the baby who is listening to Sufjan and is in some sort of comatose existence with eyes open just staring…

I think Junior is confused.  Sufjan’s got a good voice.  His dad has a voice similar to Roseanne Barr/Arnold/Barr/NoLastName singing the national anthem.  So Sufjan comes on and Junior is just trying to find who that other guy is in the room, because it sure as hell isn’t his father.

The Neocate Poop

There are things in life that are better left never experienced.  Quick sand.  Burning alive.  Being suffocated by a giant snake.  Smelling a baby’s poop when they drink Neocate. You know.  Those sorts of things.

Neocate, if you might remember, is that super expensive, super fancy formula for kids with severe milk protein allergies.  My little boy has that and this formula has helped out quite a bit.  Now, he still has his less than stellar feedings, riddled with pain, but I think the Neocate has helped to at least limit those some.  (I’m writing this Sunday evening after an evening filled with painful cries, so I hope the Neocate is still working.)

Neocate is really basic and super easy to breakdown in the baby’s stomach.  For this reason, it also causes some crazy stuff to happen to the bowels of the baby.  All babies on this formula deal with this, so they actually address it on their website.  Anyway, the only stuff left in the bowels is bacteria and bile.  Therefore, what’s pooped out by baby is bacteria and bile. 

It is dark forest green and could clear a room in a matter of seconds.  If you bottled it up, it would cause George W. Bush to invade our house to prevent us from using weapons of mass destruction (and he would find some).  It is similar to roses, if you were to take roses and crack eggs over them and then place them in a car and close the car door on a sunny 100 degree plus day and come back 8 hours later and get in the car… that’s similar to how it smells.

If you’ve never experienced it, you should be happy.  You are a lucky soul.  We have a diaper genie type thing.  You know, those special trash cans supposed to prevent smells of diapers from getting out.  It’s got like a trap door and another door on top of door to prevent smells.  Ya… this stuff gets out of there.  We have to bag the dirty diapers in a ziploc bag before throwing them away.

That’s my story about poop.  The end.