Stunning and I had a pregnancy scare that became real.  However, a few months after she was pregnant, we had another pregnancy scare.  This time it had nothing to do with bring pregnant, but instead had to do with her.

Stunning has always had problems with one of her eyes.  (Well, not always, but shortly after we started dating.)  Her retina is all wrinkled and weird.  I am pretty sure it needs a good ironing, but apparently the doctors don’t think there’s a good solution.  One doctor said she’d be blind in months, another doctor said years, and another said never. (She can still see right now.)

Her eyes were bothering her more since the pregnancy began, so she went to the doctor who sat back and became very concerned.  Then she said, “It’s almost like something is pushing against the eye.”  There’s not much scarier phrase than that… I mean, seriously, to say that you can only think of one thing, tumor. This appointment was on a Friday and the next chance to get an MRI (which had to be approved by the OB) was on Monday.

That was a strange weekend of trying to keep the thoughts out of your mind.    Exactly what is a husband and soon to be father to think in a situation like that?  There’s not much that could be thought.  You privately go through the what if’s and freak out in your head, but work to act like “it’s all good” on the outside. 

I’m not going to lie that the thought of “What if I have to do this by myself?” didn’t cross my mind.  I would have to grieve, but figure out everything on my own.  It became very apparent that weekend as I thought through the what-ifs of just how much I rely on my wife.  She settled me down that weekend with the right words.  She pushes me to be a better person.  She gives me faith.  She makes me laugh and smile and cry with joy.  The ability she has to affect me is amazing, so even to have a what if of that not being there was shocking.  Then to add to it the fact that I’d have to raise Junior by myself.  It was almost too much to handle.

We had the MRI on Monday and the results took two more days.  The what-ifs continued, but eventually it came back as negative.  There will be more follow-ups after the pregnancy, but Junior can’t have any while he resides in her belly. 

Even though I didn’t go through it, it made me gain an amazing amount of respect for single fathers.  It also made me realize how much I rely on my wife for my well-being.  We’re doing good now and hopefully there won’t be any other pregnancy scares.