My wife got confronted at the store today, so she’s writing a guest post for Fatherhoody. This details the way you should not speak with a pregnant lady. If you speak to a pregnant lady in this fashion, you’re a royal idiot.
Perhaps it’s not good to write a blog entry when you’re piping mad. I’m not 100% sure about blog etiquette so I’ll just ignore it and write anyway.
I decided to make sweet little taggy blankets for Junior and Bing (Junior’s cousin that is due on the same date as he is). I like the idea of making something for Junior and I’m so uncrafty that I decided to get started early. Of course, I’m having a hard time doing anything for Junior and not doing it for Bing too…they need to be twinnies. So I went to the craft store to get all the supplies to make two of these little cuties:
Anyway, my blanket-making skills (or lack thereof) are not the point. The point is what you see in the picture right above…that gray little moon-looking thing: my enormo stomach. You see, as I was standing in the line to get my blue fabric and black and white ribbons cut, a woman looked at me and asked me when I was due. I knew what was coming. I should have just said “yesterday” and maybe she would have refrained from talking on end about how she can’t imagine me getting any bigger. But I didn’t. I decided to go for that whole “honesty” thing. Honesty, HA!
Me: “Not until March.”
Her: (Pause) “March?” (Pause) “WOW!”
Me: “Yep, I’m big.”
Her: “You’re huge!”
Me: “Yeah.”
Her: “There’s a girl at work who is due in a couple weeks and you’re way bigger than her!”
Me: “Yeah.”
Her: “How much weight have you gained?”
Okay, WHAT?!?! She seriously asked me how much weight I’d gained? How in the world is this an appropriate question?
Me: “Alot.”
Her: “I bet!”
At this point, I wanted to just walk away. But I needed to get my fabric cut so I just stood there, looking forward and trying to ignore her while still remembering that I was a Christian woman and that certain things are not nice to say to people.
Her: “I only gained 20 pounds with both my children.”
Me: “That’s great.”
Her: “So how about you?”
Me: “I’ve gained alot more than that.”
Her: “I bet.”
Me: “I was really skinny before I got pregnant though. It’s good I’m gaining weight.”
Her: “Well…”
Luckily, at this point the fabric woman was ready to take my request so I could ignore Meany McJudgyPants. I got it cut, grabbed my fabric, and walked away even though she had started asking me questions again. I just couldn’t handle it.
I got in my car and called Bing’s mom and started crying, asking her why people thought it was appropriate to tell me these things. She comforted me and told me stories about a girl at work who gets the same thing all the time. I calmed down a little but I was still quite livid. Luckily, as I turned the corner onto the access road toward my house, I saw something that ALWAYS cheers me up: Liberty Tax Services dancers. There she was…Lady Liberty in all her greenish blue splendor, waving that torch and doing a boogie while holding a sign for cheapo tax services.
Thanks Lady Liberty, I could just hear you saying: “"Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, Your preggo ladies who look like they are going to pop tomorrow…” You know how to cheer a girl up!
So here’s my question, and I mean it with all honesty—what should I say to these people? So far this has happened (aside from asking me about my weight) numerous times. Various strangers have told me how huge I am. I am getting sick of it and I don’t want to be mean but I feel like I need to say something. So really, ideas please?
4 comments:
I think you should say, "Was your New Year's resolution not to stick your foot in your mouth? If so, you just broke it." Yeah, I know, that's not very Christian, but it could be effective. Maybe you could just be honest and say something like, "I know that I look pretty big, but I'm fairly small framed [true], and my doctor says I'm healthy [I presume], so I'm just not worried about my weight, and you shouldn't be either. Hey, what's that over there?!" Then you can point at something over the person's shoulder, and grab her purse when she looks the other way and run (or walk briskly, whatever) in the other direction.
January 13, 2010 at 7:13 AMThat last bit is not to be considered legal advice.
From,
Alaina
I think you should just ask "how far along are you?" I think that would shut them up. :)
January 13, 2010 at 11:36 AMIf it makes you feel any better I gained 65 lbs with my 1st child and in the beginning I was barely 100 lbs even. Anyways though when people would tell me I was huge and I looked like I was going to pop (and it started when I was only 2 1/2-3 months preggo!)I would honestly tell some people Oh I'm sorry I'm not pregnant it's a tumor but thats ok everyone says that to me!!! It might not be the right thing to tell people that but when you have random people coming up to you to touch your belly without even asking I couldnt resist telling people that anymore. So I think honestly it probably depends on your mood what you should say to these random people, but if it really does upset you tell them so that way they dont upset the next pregnant lady. And by the way I think your blanket came out alot nicer than the brown one!
January 13, 2010 at 11:42 AMSay "Due? What are you talking about?"
January 15, 2010 at 2:04 PMOR
"Oh, you think I'm pregnant? No, it's not that..." and fade off at the end making a very sad face.
OR
"I'm due in October." Then watch them try so hard to figure out the math.
OR
"I'm having heptuplets." See above math-related comment.
Also-I was planning on sewing you a taggie blanket nearly identical to those you made! Seriously, this is what I was going to do tomorrow morning. You have made my sewing life more challenging and interesting. And you may have made your gift more crappy, but we'll see how it turns out.
Love you Molly.
Susan
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