Christmas for most is a pretty happy time of the year. However, you wouldn’t know it from most Christmas Songs. Merry Christmas All!

Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer

A lovely story about a young reindeer that is physically handicapped or just plain ugly reindeer. His friends? He has none. Everyone makes constant fun of him for his red nose and his life must be absolutely terrible. Then, the only reason people come to like him? It’s not for his personality or who he is… it’s because he did something no one else can do. (Any by the way, as a former television meteorologist, it’s always going to be foggy somewhere on Christmas Eve… every year… guaranteed.)

I’ll Be Home for Christmas

A heart warming tale of a young man coming home for Christmas. He’s very excited about it and can’t stop… singing…. about it. Then the song ends with, “Only in my dreams.” Ouch. That’s terrible.

Frosty the Snowman

It’s awesome when the old silk hat they found made him come to life one day. He ran around, they thumped a lot, then they got in trouble with the law… then as the other kids are getting arrested most likely, Frosty melts away. Not only are the kids in trouble, but the song ends with Frosty dying.

I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Clause

Perhaps the worst song of them all. This kid's Mom is cheating on her husband with some guy dressed at Santa. Nothing like getting Adultery for Christmas!!

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Yes, it is the most wonderful time of the year. There will also be a lot of things, like parties for hosting, marshmallows for toasting, and caroling out in the snow. There’ll be scary ghost stories……. wait… what? Scary ghost stories? Are you kidding me? Was the singer having a halloween flashback? My family has never told a ghost story at Christmas time. Clearly, there’s some issues the person has and they need to work through them with a counselor.

Last Christmas

Leave it up to the 1980s to create a song that sounds cheerful, but is actually about a woman ripping out a a guy’s heart and being with another guy. It was really nice for the guy last year to give her his heart, but who would’ve expected that the VERY NEXT DAY she would give it away? This year though, he seems to have learned his lesson and will give it to someone special. Seriously though, the guy needs some help… he clearly sees long-term relationships with every girl he dates.

Blue Christmas

Here’s a song that is overtly depressing… in its name and the fact the guy will have a blue Christmas without you.

The Christmas Shoes

This is the number one most depressing song at Christmas and, honestly, the dumbest song too. It’s very cheesy. The kids wants some shoes so mom looks good for Jesus? That’s nice, but shouldn’t she have a nice dress too? But more than anything… I hate this song, because it’s all about the song writer bragging about his good deeds. The last half of the song is about him buying the shoes for the kid. This song, for some reason, just makes me angry. The video is pretty cheesy too.