There’s a good chance my wife will be in a continual state of wanting pancakes.  That’s because over the next few weeks there’s a good chance she’ll smell like a hot pile of steaming pancakes drenched with maple syrup.  This isn’t some type of strange fat guy fantasy… It’s the truth.

Remember adventures in breastfeeding?  Well, the adventures have continued.  After I wrote my last post about it, Stunning developed extreme nausea while trying to feed from the boob.  She lost her appetite and said it was similar to the first trimester nausea.  Awesome.  Apparently, there’s a rare side effect to breast feeding, which is nausea and my wife is one in a million that had it.  Luckily that slowly disappeared.  It still rears its head every once in awhile, but nothing too extreme.

Then after the nausea went away, breastfeeding became extremely painful.  Like to the point that her toes would curl.  Yikes.  That was fun.. not really.

Then we have discovered over the last week and a half that she’s not producing enough milk.  If you see a lactation specialist, they weigh the baby before a feeding, let the mom feed and then weigh him afterward to see how much he took in.  Well, we were having some problems so we went to see the lactation person once and she was extremely helpful.. we thought we had it all figured out.  Then things deteriorated again…

Junior would basically sit at the boob and drink non-stop for almost an hour.  When the hour was up, he’d be in a state of panic.  He would stop latching and just go crazy.  We tried everything, but then we gave him a bottle of pumped milk, he drank another 2 ounces from it and then fell asleep.  This happened multiple times… clearly 50 minutes is not long enough, because my wife’s boobs aren’t giving him enough.  She made another appointment.

This time she had a different expert (what a strange job that would be, by the way) and this lady weighed him and then left for 45 minutes as Stunning breast fed… and then weighed him again and in 45 minutes he drank 1 ounce.  ONE OUNCE!!  After that, he was spastic crying and going crazy.. clearly hungry.  This lactation person though was close to a grade A dummy.  She said he was crying because he was probably having acid reflux.  She said one ounce was enough because “breast milk has more calories than formula”.  Ummm last time I checked, babies go by when their stomach is full not by looking at the nutritional facts on the side of a breast.  (“200% of my daily sodium?  Do you have a light version of your left breast mom?”)

Anyway, Stunning left that appointment in a state of shock.  The lady said that 1 ounce was enough, when we all know it’s not.  The kids an eater.  He’ll down one ounce in 2 minutes and then down another 3 if he’s hungry enough.  Then the fact that a supplement bottle will settle him down makes it clear that acid reflux isn’t a problem.

In the end, Stunning got in contact with another lactation lady from Madela (quite possibly the best company out there) and this lady said that indeed she was very low on milk production.  She suggested Fenugreek.  It’s a supplement that is used to increase milk production.  Well, it’s also used in cheap oatmeal… to make oatmeal smell like maple syrup.  That’s right… a side effect of Fenugreek is that you’ll start to smell like maple syrup.

My wife is going to become a big steaming pile of pancakes.