Well, you may or may not have noticed the lack of posts around here.  It’s the death-knell for a blogger to take a week off, because then you realize just how much extra time you have… or how much time you don’t have but still blogged….

Anyway, this is a farewell of sorts.  Not completely, not entirely, but this is a farewell to this blog.  It was therapeutic to write in it for the months I did, especially in the first really difficult weeks of Junior’s life.  As my days filled up and the wife went back to work, the amount of free time dwindled though.  Therefore, this is the final post of Fatherhoody… and the blog will join the millions of blogs that just stop one day.

The good news is that I’ll be working with my wife to continue to provide updates into our crazy lives on the blog she’s maintained for such a long time.  For those readers still around, please check out:

www.consideringcampbell.com

I’ll be posting there now, just the duty will be split between the wife and I.  The posts might not come every day, but we’ll try and keep the consistency.

Thanks to everyone that read!  Please head over to Considering and stay tuned!  

Is there anything harder in the world than a mom going back to work after having her first kid?  After seeing it happen this past week, I would have to say no.  As most of you know, Stunning was offered a job about a week and a half ago and all of a sudden we realized she’d be back to work before any of us expected it.  That day came on Monday and she got all dressed up and after the two month appointment, went into the office.

The night before was the toughest part though.  It’s definitely a struggle to weight the need for money to give your kid a good life and the need to be with him to do the same. 

Does part of me worry about both parents working?  Absolutely.  You see kids where the parents give them little attention as they work all the time and most of the time, those kids are messed up.  I think when both parents work, there has to be a lot of work by the parents to make the time with the kids worthwhile and meaningful.  It’s probably easier now though, because Junior can’t function as a person without us.  However, when he gets older it’ll be easier to let him play by himself as we take a breather.  It’s important not to do that though, I think… as hard as it might be. 

In the end, Stunning did great and I’m amazingly proud of her being the bread-winner.  Now, we just have to balance that whole “latch key kid” versus “impactful parents”.

Well, on Monday we took Junior up to get his vaccinations.  I’m happy to report that he’s a wonderful 11 pounds 4 ounces and 22 inches long/tall.  That’s the 50% for both!!  That means folks that my kid is just average.

Of course, the scary part are the shots.  The needles came out and holy crap were they long.  I didn’t think he had that much room for them to go in and not come out the other side.  Well, they went in and boy was he PISSED. 

For many parents, this is the first time they see their kids in pain.  I wish I could say the same thing, but I can’t.  In fact, there are so many scary stories about these shots that I was expecting something other worldly.  He started screaming and I realized this was the exact same face and the exact same scream he will give if his acid reflux is bad.  I had seen it numerous times before and for a couple weeks, I saw it every single day.  That’s when it hit me… the pain, which I knew was bad, was excruciating for him.  Poor little man. 

Here’s the best part of the shots – we thought he’d be fussy and mad for hours.  I mean, he usually is a fussy baby, so having these shots would make it worse.  Au contraire!  Instead, he had a normal day.  How crazy is that?  I count my blessings though.

He cried for about 5 minutes.  Then he settled down and looked like this:

Then he was pretty good for the rest of the day!

Mother’s Day is full of pomp and circumstance.  Even moreso when it is the first Mother’s Day for a Mom.  Don’t worry, Stunning made sure I knew it was an important and big holiday. 

We didn’t do much special.  Of course, we usually go to church, but our pediatrician suggested not going to church until the two month shots (more on those tomorrow).  We didn’t go to church.  Instead, we marked the day by letting mom hang out and dictate what she wanted and how.  Basically, if she wanted Junior, she got him.  If he was being fussy, I got him.  You know… that kind of situation.

We went to lunner (lunch/dinner).  I got her a piece of jewelry to commemorate this momentous event. Then I left her at home with the kid and went to the San Antonio Spurs game.  The Spurs game was unexpected, but it was either I go or my mother-in-law go.  My mother-in-law didn’t want to go, so it was kind of a Mother’s Day present to her that I went.  It was a sacrifice for the happiness of the mother-in-law.  Stunning even signed off on it… I swear.

The end.

We got this really cool suit and tie for Jack from our friends in Wisconsin.  Pretty much the classiest outfit the kid owns and I can’t wait for him to wear it around looking all cool and stuff. 

Anyway, the following is the thank you note sent to the gift givers:

Dear Gift Givers,

You guys are awesome.  That suit is Junior’s best outfit BY FAR.  Leave it to the gay men to be sure that Jack is the best dressed baby on the block.  When I become a rich lawyer, I am flying you guys down here.  Or maybe I’ll just whore myself out for extra dough – we miss you guys so much and MUST see you… even if it means a VD here and there.  Nothing wrong with hooking.  OKay – this thank you note too a bad turn real fast.  Thank you for the suit.  There. That’s what I meant to say.  Love, Us.

Wow.  I always knew my wife had a knack for writing thank you cards… I guess I just never realized her full talent.

A couple weeks ago, I posted a little video by an artist, singer, composer that goes by the name Sufjan Stevens.  He goes by the name… because it is his real name. 

Anyway, Stunning and I have tried everything to soothe Junior when he’s going crazy.  This is either in pain crazy or fussy crazy.  The only thing that can soothe him though is me playing music of Sufjan Stevens really loud.  It has a lot of instrumental parts, his voice is very calm, and there’s a female in a lot of his songs who also has a calm voice.

It works like magic.  I’m serious people.  It’s like there are two babies… the baby that doesn’t listen to Sufjan who is crying and the baby who is listening to Sufjan and is in some sort of comatose existence with eyes open just staring…

I think Junior is confused.  Sufjan’s got a good voice.  His dad has a voice similar to Roseanne Barr/Arnold/Barr/NoLastName singing the national anthem.  So Sufjan comes on and Junior is just trying to find who that other guy is in the room, because it sure as hell isn’t his father.

There are things in life that are better left never experienced.  Quick sand.  Burning alive.  Being suffocated by a giant snake.  Smelling a baby’s poop when they drink Neocate. You know.  Those sorts of things.

Neocate, if you might remember, is that super expensive, super fancy formula for kids with severe milk protein allergies.  My little boy has that and this formula has helped out quite a bit.  Now, he still has his less than stellar feedings, riddled with pain, but I think the Neocate has helped to at least limit those some.  (I’m writing this Sunday evening after an evening filled with painful cries, so I hope the Neocate is still working.)

Neocate is really basic and super easy to breakdown in the baby’s stomach.  For this reason, it also causes some crazy stuff to happen to the bowels of the baby.  All babies on this formula deal with this, so they actually address it on their website.  Anyway, the only stuff left in the bowels is bacteria and bile.  Therefore, what’s pooped out by baby is bacteria and bile. 

It is dark forest green and could clear a room in a matter of seconds.  If you bottled it up, it would cause George W. Bush to invade our house to prevent us from using weapons of mass destruction (and he would find some).  It is similar to roses, if you were to take roses and crack eggs over them and then place them in a car and close the car door on a sunny 100 degree plus day and come back 8 hours later and get in the car… that’s similar to how it smells.

If you’ve never experienced it, you should be happy.  You are a lucky soul.  We have a diaper genie type thing.  You know, those special trash cans supposed to prevent smells of diapers from getting out.  It’s got like a trap door and another door on top of door to prevent smells.  Ya… this stuff gets out of there.  We have to bag the dirty diapers in a ziploc bag before throwing them away.

That’s my story about poop.  The end.

There are certain things before Junior came that I thought were just ridiculous to have/buy/own/want.  Here’s a few of those things now that I thought were dumb and now I love:

Goodness gracious.  If we didn’t have this thing, I think my face would fall off.  It’s good for naps and getting him to calm some.  He’ll sleep longer in it and it’s good for the reflux because he’s not laying down flat and is at an angle.  It makes me jealous, because it looks comfortable and I would like to have one myself.

This pack and play has vibration on it as well.  It also makes nature noises and music to fill in as white noise when Sufjan isn’t playing in the background.  This allows Junior to stretch a sleep another 45 minutes sometimes.  It also has the vibration so that it will get him to fall asleep.  I heart this.

I thought this was just ridiculous.  There’s a thing called a blanket and I’m more than capable of dangling a toy above his head.  In the end though, this thing is awesome.  The patterns and colors will keep him occupied, plus puke just lifts right up from the fabric.  Gotta love stuff where puke is easy clean-up.  As a Acid Reflux baby, there’s a lot of puking that happens in our house too.

In our quest to find anything at all that would soothe our son, we decided we’d be in the market for one of these swings.  Just another item I never thought was necessary.  A guy at work came to the rescue and just gave us one.  HOLY COW… thank you…  At his fussiest, this can create a calm baby.  Amazing.

We’ve gone through a couple interviews with potential nannies… like most things in parenthood we turned to the internet for some suggestions.  This time we were looking for questions to ask a potential nanny.  We found some good resources. 

On one website, we went through multiple questions on this website.  Good stuff like:

• How do you handle a crying baby? How do you feel when dealing with a crying baby?
• What do you see as your primary responsibility to a child this age?
• What activities would you engage in with a child this age?
• How long do you think a baby should be left to cry?

Then we kept reading getting more and more information about what questions to ask.  Then we read this “suggested” question:

• What are your thoughts about masturbation?
• How would you handle it if you noticed that my (insert age) was masturbating?

Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…

As mentioned, we found someone for May… that’s Aunt Burb.  After that though, we’re on the great search using the interwebs.  It’s www.sitters.com and www.sittercity.com  They’re kind of craigslist of the nanny world where people put out their qualifications and you find someone that you think will match well.  We’ve got a couple interviews planned, but one has to wade through quite a bit to reach this point.

First of all, to the people applying on these websites, pictures of your cleavage are not a selling point.

(I’ve protected the face of this potential nanny.)  Of course, Stunning won’t let us hire any cleavage nannies, because she’s scared there’s a reason they have so much cleavage… and that reason is me.  I mean… c’mon what potential nanny wouldn’t want to sleep with me!?!?

Pictures of you in a bathroom… also not advised:

…even if you think it’s a great picture of you..

If you apply and your sitter website profile picture is awesome:

…but please know we’ll search your name on facebook…

…and we will not hire you.

If we tell you about our baby’s acid reflux and hysterical crying, please do not act like it isn’t a big deal in a reply to our inquiries:

And knowing Junior has acid reflux I know how to handle him. My mom suffers from it so I know it is very painful at times. And yes I would be able to handle the screaming all baby's do it. :)

Junior’s acid reflux is not like your mom’s… and not all babies cry like he does.

Anyway, through a lot of this, we found some really good women.  We hope to have someone lined up by the end of the week.

Well, it looks like Stunning will be heading back to work soon.  If everything goes according to plan, she’ll start her permanent position on June 1.  She’ll work on a contract/temporary position at the company for the month of May.  Of course, this means we have to find someone to take care of Junior and we have to find them quick.  Really quick.  Like, she’ll probably be working full time at the office next week quick.

For the month of May, we think we found someone:

That is Junior’s Aunt Burb.  She’s going bike riding across the United States in June, but she’ll be at home, bored, and poor in May.  The poor part is the most important part, because we’re going to pay her.  Clearly, she wants to be part of Junior’s life… since you know… she’s loving the pacifier with him.

After May though, things become pretty much crazier.  How do you find a place/person that you trust with your child when your child can be a bit much to handle with the non-stop painful crying?  It’s tough.. we eventually decided that we’d like to find a nanny instead of a daycare.  I think this has a lot to do with the fact that Stunning was a nanny, so she’s big into the nanny thing. 

We signed up for two services: www.sitters.com and www.sittercity.com and we’ll hopefully find someone through there.  A little more about them tomorrow!

Needless to say, these past 8 weeks have not always been the easiest for me or Stunning.  It’s tough to see your child go through all of this.  However, there’s one thing that I’ve learned and it is that a) my wife is absolutely amazing and b) women have an amazing innate ability to take care of children.

I’m not a guy who gets frustrated easily.  In fact, I could probably count the times I got frustrated before Junior was born on one hand.  However, there’s something strange about being around a screaming child that for me it just got to my inner core.  Once we discovered that it was a medical problem, it was easier to accept.  He can still be a plain old fussy baby and when that happens, goodness gracious, it’s tough to handle for me.

On the other hand, my wife is one to get frustrated easily in life.  There’s been many times where I’ve had to calm her down over things that I thought just weren’t that big of a deal.  It’s probably why we make a good duo.  However, when it comes to Junior, very rarely does she get frustrated.  She could be with him for hours when he’s fussy and barely be bothered.

This has made me realize that there really is some instinct there.  There has to be a reason that it is so easy for fathers all over the world to be able to have little to no connection with their kids.  Mothers rarely are in that position. 

More than that though, my wife is doing laundry and cleaning bottles and dealing with a sick kid who can be fussy and she holds it all together.  I can not imagine being married or going through this with anyone else.  At times, when I felt everything was falling apart, she’s been my glue.  She’s an amazing woman and an amazing mother.

A couple weeks ago, I posted about how as new parents people work hard to scare you sh*tless in order for your baby to be safe.  I mean, if you do something or don’t do something, you’re baby (in all liklihood) will die.  I posted concerning SIDS and the scariness of that. 

SIDS is a serious thing and I don’t want anyone to think differently.  You should follow all of the recommendations set forth by the American Pediatric Association to prevent it from happening.  It’s amazing what education and few changes to how we care for our babies has done to the death rate from SIDS.  My point a couple week ago was some of the tactics used and the information disseminated and the affect it has on parents.  That first week my wife and I had Junior home, we were scared to go to sleep.. while we’re better now it’s still a scary thing.

Anyway, in that post, I had the director of SIDS Services-Illinois post.  This is what she wrote:

I agree with you fathers. You are the parent and you have to raise your baby in the way that you think is best for your child. But, don't you want to take advantage of the latest research in child development? Yes, it's true that babies are not intended to sleep thru the night. Waking up is the one biological defense that our otherwise defensely (sic)infants have to survival - wake up and cry to be cared for.
(Sorry tired parents).

Susie, of course you slept on your tummy. Most everyone did during the 20th century in the western world. But, there were 7000 babies dying a year due to SIDS. By flipping a baby on to his or her back, the number drops to 2200 babies. Amazing! Pretty simple.
I'd also guess that you weren't in a car seat nor did you wear a bike helmet. I even played on construction sites and drank water out of a garden hose. I'm alive and well.
But, not everyone is. These advancement in technology and research make it possible to have fewer deaths.

You're the parent, you get to decide. There are more tools in your parenting tool box than at any other time in history. Use them or not. You'll probably be one of the lucky ones - but if not, there's probably a support group for you.

She makes some good points, but at the same time she proves my point exactly.  We all slept on our tummies as kids and we’re all still alive. There are many that aren’t though and that’s where the back is best comes.

However, my main problem with this Executive Director’s comment is the last paragraph and specifically the last half sentence.  It’s this type of communication and scare tactics that I’m talking about.  “There’s a support group for you”?  That’s a classless line from an individual I would expect would have a bit more tact. 

In the end, you need to listen to the advice and the information given to us.  However, as parents and new parents out there, we need to find a way to get to a happy medium.  A place where information can be fairly and accurately passed out and a point where you’re not scaring people to death to make a point.

I’m not quite sure how to handle this… but I got my first blog award the other day.  It’s not the academy… in the blogging world (which I’m not overly familiar), it is bestowed by other bloggers.

The Sunshine Award: The Sunshine Blog Award is awarded to bloggers whose positivity and creativity inspire others in the blog world.

This was given to me by a frequent commenter… who frankly probably feels kind of lonely on here sometimes when he’s the only one commenting.

Anyway, like any good blog award, there are rules for accepting this one:

The rules for accepting the award are:
1. Put the logo on your blog or within your post
2. Pass the award to 5 bloggers
3. Link the nominees within your post
4. Let them know they received this award by commenting on their blog
5. Share the love and link to the person from whom you received this award
6. Share 5 things about yourself

I accomplished one already.

Here’s Number Two:

1. http://lifeofanewdad.blogspot.com/ – Otter is a great writer and about a year ahead of where we are with Junior.  It’s cool to see where we’re headed as he grows up. 
2. http://rootsandrings.wordpress.com/ – Chelsea is one of the main reasons I’m in the bloggery world.
3. http://pippysperspective.blogspot.com/ – Great soon to be mommy blog.
4. http://ohmygodimadaddy.blogspot.com/ – I wish I would have thought of this title for a blog first.  It sums up my feelings.
5. http://didyoufeedthecats.blogspot.com/ – My sister-in-law’s blogging adventures.  (She had Junior’s cousin 8 hours after Junior was born.)

This award came to my from Eric (http://jugglingeric.blogspot.com/).  He’s a fellow San Antonion and a frequent commenter here on the blog… sometimes he probably feels lonely commenting… especially when I forget to respond.  Anyway, thanks Eric.

Finally, I must say five things about myself:

1. I’m a dude.
2. I just had a baby.
3. I wear size 10.5 shoes.
4. I just got the Starcraft 2 Beta key and I am royally confused.  Gaming has become much more intricate since the original Starcraft 10 years ago.
5. I might cry when Lost comes to an end.

It’s no lie that a major milestone for a father is the first time he sees his baby smile.  That and the first time he changes the diaper, but the smile is much more interesting and awesome.  (The diapers make my head hurt… more on that another day.) 

Well, about a week and a half ago we saw Junior smile for the first time.  I was bouncing him on my knee and there came a little smirk.  I read research that for many men, this is the first time they feel a bond with a baby.  I think I can attest to that.  There’s a connection there before, but the first time you see the smile the heart melts.  Since his first smile, we’ve found a few things that he really enjoys.

1. Bouncing on a leg.
2. Looking at someone’s face.  He had a great time the other day looking at his Grandma Mac’s face and it makes me wonder.  When he’s laughing while looking at a face, is he laughing with us or laughing at us.  Does he smile and laugh because he thinks we look strange?
3. Being pushed around.  That’s right… my baby is the happiest when he’s being pushed around.

I don’t think there will ever be a time that a smile like that won’t melt my heart. 

Many places talk about getting a honeymoon for a baby when they go on a new treatment for acid reflux.  Well, Junior has been amazing these past week dealing with his recovery.  He’s on super expensive fancy formula and taking heartburn medicine twice a day.  (Heartburn medicine at 6 weeks is a sad thing.) 

It’s amazing how quickly you forget all the emotions that you dealt with during the worst of times of his illness and feeling bad.  Well, last night we got a quick dose of reality as Junior had his acid reflux come roaring back with a vengeance.  It was bad.  The blood curdling screams.  The arched back.  The “crying so hard I don’t have time to catch a breath” cry.  The inability for us to settle him down.  And with each of these things, a flood of emotions for my wife and I as we remembered all of the feelings and fears that had slowly dwindled away over the past 10 days. 

We just hope and pray that Sunday night wasn’t the start of the end of the honeymoon period.  We pray that his good times will far outnumber his bad.  This is supposed to be a rollercoaster, with a bad day possible, so it’s not for sure… However, we’re just praying that God is going to continue to heal him and make him better.

When it rains in San Antonio, it pours and pours and pours.  Thunderstorms down here are rarely severe, but they dump a lot of rain.  The ground here isn’t the porous dirt I’m used to in Nebraska… instead it’s hard rock.  That means when it pours it doesn’t soak in and it flows.  This past weekend, the water of the entire neighborhood flowed right into our driveway.

Here I am trying to get the water out of the driveway and rescue the dog beds:

I walked outside to that, after I looked out our door to see this:

At about five seconds, you’ll see a floating dog bed.  One of our dogs was already inside and I asked Stunning where the other dog was.  She realized she was still outside (we didn’t know the driveway looked like this yet) so she walked to the door to let her in.  Realized there was half a foot of water on the driveway and looked down to the see the dog (she’s 18 years old) laying on the nearly floating bed with just her head out of the water.  Well at that point we couldn’t open the door, because the water would have rushed it (it already was coming through the cracks) so we had to go rescue her through the other door.  In the end, she was fine.

This was the water after it left our driveway:

A river runs through it.  This will happen again… just one of the joys of living in Texas… and considering I used to be a weatherman, I’m being serious.

You’ve probably already noticed the little “Like” buttons at the end of posts.  It’s something new I’m trying and I’m not entirely sure it’s working.

Nonetheless, Facebook was mad and jealous that Google was taking over the web and all services.  Microsoft was pissed that no one ever talks about them anymore.  And Yahoo! was thinking whimsically about the 1990s. 

Anyway, now Facebook is trying to get even with Google and putting extensions on every page they can.  As someone who is always willing to try the latest and greatest, I’m an early adopter.  So, please, like this post… and please like any other post you see on here. 

You’re here, but you might wonder who else is here.  Well, I love statistics, so I pay close attention to my Google Analytics.  I like to see what countries people are coming from and why they’re coming.  The why is garnered by what they searched for to find this blog.  Therefore, I wanted to share some of those with you and provide the people who will search for these terms in the future some information:

Search Term: fatherhoody / fatherhoody.com / fatherhoodie / fatherhoody blog
Times Searched: 121
Explanation: You’re at Fatherhoody.

Search Term: becoming an unexpected father
Times Searched: 4 
Explanation:  I love Junior to death, but he wasn’t part of the five year plan.  Now that he’s here, I can’t imagine a better five year plan than to have him in it.  If you’re not expecting a child and you’re freaked out, stick with it.  When you have the kid, things will fall into place.

Search Term: spouse in law school / law school spouse
Times Searched: 6
Explanation: Stunning was in law school right after we got married. We got through it and the Bar Exam.  Then we had a normal marriage.  Stick with it law school spouses… it’s only temporary, but man does it stink.

Search Term: pitchers of people with anorexia
Times Searched: 1
Explanation: I think you meant pictures.

Search Term: baby pig slut
Times Searched: 1
Explanation: This is either a reference to the Seinfeld episode “The Cartoon” or some weird internet thing that I don’t want to know about.

Search Term: choking your wife in your sleep
Times Searched: 1
Explanation:  I have never choked my wife.  I made my wife choke once by make a joke while she was eating and she almost died (that’s an exaggeration).  I would have to say if you’re choking your wife in your sleep, you might want to either a) see a counselor about how you feel about your wife or b) see a sleep expert.

Search Term: dad is an immature child
Times Searched: 1
Explanation: If this is a wife looking for this, if you’re husband (who is a dad) acts like a true child, then I think this is okay as long as they can be serious too.  If your husband acts like a teenager, then you should seek counseling.  If this is a son or daughter researching their own dad, you are blessed that your dad doesn’t take life too seriously.  I will admit that I’m both of these.  I think it will work out really well to entertain Junior as a child and really well to embarrass the hell out of him as a teenager!

Search Term: divorce rates vs. twilight
Times Searched: 1
Explanation: I wouldn’t be surprised if it increased the rate. Not sure if this is the blog for that discussion though.  t Thanks.

Search Term: father hoodie blog jack stunning
Times Searched: 1
Explanation:  This person was clearly desperate to find this blog.

Search Term: hands smell like maple syrup
Times Searched: 1
Explanation: If you’re on fenugreek to increase breastmilk production, then this might be normal.  If you ate pancakes or waffles in the morning, this is also normal.  If neither of these apply to you, seek medical attention. Something ain’t right with your hands.

Search Term: how to kill your pregnant wife
Times Searched: 1
Explanation: I would advise against it.  I would also advise not to Google your plans… it will probably be evidence.  I also doubt there is a special technique to this… It’s not like women become werewolves or vampires when pregnant.  (Husband: The knife I just stabbed into your back bent instead of piercing your skin! Wife: Of course!  I’m pregnant.)

Search Term: i slapped my pregnant wife
Times Searched :1
Explanation: That’s disturbing.  You shouldn’t do that.

Search Term: killing is not fun
Times Searched: 1
Explanation: Seriously.. Google.. I’m a Christian man that has no plans for violence.  Why do you keep bringing these people to my blog!?!

Search Term: pooping
Times Searched: 1
Explanation: No clue.

Search Term: wet in shower
Times Searched: 1
Explanation: That tends to happen.

As you read this, I think you might think this is a stretch and I’m not going to argue with you.  However, I wanted to write this and see what it sounds like and if it makes any sense.
During our Acid Reflux cry fests, I would just look at my son’s little face which was in pure agony and pure pain and my heart would break.  There was nothing I could to stop it.  There was nothing he did to deserve it.  There were no good reasons for it to happen. 
Now, before I make this next leap, and I know you know what leap I’m about to make, let it be known that I am not comparing my son to Him.  I am not saying that the suffering he had compared to Him.  However, I’m looking it from my vantage point.
To see your son suffer and feel helpless or to act helpless is one of the most excruciating things in the world.  I think when we thing of Good Friday, we often put much of the focus on Jesus (as it should be).  However, after going through this, it gives me a perspective on what God went through when Jesus suffered.  In this instance though, God chose to sat out (clearly he didn’t have to), but he did for the sake of humanity. 
How excruciating it must have been for God to sit there in Heaven with the knowledge of what he was letting happen to his son.  Unlike my position, God could stop it, but didn’t.  His sacrifice for us was not just the sacrifice of Christ, but a sacrifice the Father put himself through too.  Amazing that He would do that for us. 
As Junior was crying and crying and we tried to soothe him, I wondered if He thought we were causing his pain.  We were the ones giving him a liquid that caused burning, in his mind, were we associated with this?  Was he blaming me?  Again, I had flashes of the Passion.

About the ninth hour Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?”—which means, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”

Even the though of Junior thinking I was doing this to him made me sad.  This line of Christ’s will always carry some new meaning to me now.
If you go to the Psalm Jesus was quoting though, this sad verse transforms itself into something different.  That’s verse one (why have you forsaken), take a look at verse 9:

Yet you brought me out of the womb; you made me trust in you even at my mother's breast.  From birth I was cast upon you; from my mother's womb you have been my God.  Do not be far from me, for trouble is near and there is no-one to help.

Again, I know this is a stretch for people reading.  However, the suffering of my son, the pain, the terror, the exasperation on his face was a life changing thing, a faith changing thing.  It gave a new perspective of what our Lord God dealt with on that day.  It gives me a perspective of what he deals with every day looking at this broken Earth.